Disappear, Don't Change.
This core principle taught in the Landmark Forum blew my mind a week ago and keeps emerging in new and profound ways.
The idea is that, over time, changing a constraint implies the constant presence of the constraint, albeit shape shifting as time marches on. The art of disappearing constraints happens when the constraint is not changed, but fully acknowledged. Over time, the act of NOT changing (doing nothing to) the constraint results in its disappearance.
Most recently this principle emerged in the context of labor and pain management. Myself included, many women seek to change labor pains (the constraint). It's uncomfortable, intense, and would be better if it were different. But what if we were to CHOOSE surrender from a place of not changing the constraint? To CHOOSE full acknowledgment without trying to lessen it? I bet there would be an insane about of mama-baby teamwork in that labor, an unprecedented trust in the body, and a huge sense of empowerment for declaring your choice.
I cannot wait to test this theory in about 3 months when Baby Hemphill #3 is due. But until then, I'd like to hear from our fantastic community of mamas who have experienced this art of disappearing constraints! Did you choose full acknowledgment of labor? Did you surrender from a place of not trying to change labor? What was your experience? Leave us a comment!
We truly want to hear from you!